The Mask

Everyone these days is wearing a mask. Whether the purpose is to hide emotions or to change appearance, everyone is wearing a mask. Why is it so hard for people to express what they're really feeling? Maybe to protect themselves from getting hurt. But the truth is that the longer one wears a mask the longer it takes for them to take it off. The more one wears the mask the easier it is for them to get confused about what the truth is. Anyways, there are a lot of people out there who put up a mask for people to like them but they were already adored in the first place. Maybe the mask has something to do with survival of the fittest or a defense mechanism. Whatever the case, I wish it was easier to reveal what's behind the mask.


Although change is inevitable, & that's what bothers me.

Happy Birthday...

Nephew LJ!! Dang time I aflyn .. I remember when they were hella small

Summer's leavin me behind...

Ahhh! So, summer has finally come but its not all that I expected it to be :/
It feels like everything is happening all at the same time or like everyone is growing up without me. Maybe its just for now, hopefully. Idk, it seems like everyone is going there separate ways, unintentionally leaving me behind. But I guess that's life right? I don't wanna hold anyone back but at the same time I don't want anyone to forget me.

Well, time stops for no one right? Might as well make the best of it...


until then,
capJAC

stupid boys or just an idiotic lamb?

Sooooooooooooooo, why do we(or I) usually fall for the one that's completely wrong for us(or me)? Well for me, I tend to like the people who most likely won't like me back which is entirely not intended but for some strange reason its like I am attracted to all the "bad" guys and im totally clueless why. I don't know what to do sometimes cause i end up tryna get to know a guy who turns out to not even be interested. AHHH its so frustrating cause once I try to drop the guy he finds a way to pop back up. I have a freaking weakness for all the WRONG guys & it sucks really badly. People were tellin me not to give up Dude (let's call him Dude)and people were telling me to find someone else but in reality I was confused because I liked him & I was hoping he would like me too but I knew he was all wrong for me. But, recently, I got over him... I realized that it wasnt worth my time to just waste it on Dude because obviously it wasnt going anywhere. I dont even know why I liked him. He talked to me but like it didnt seem like he was trying to gt to know me but yet his words led me on. I feel so idiotic. I usually am strong in various aspects of my life but when it comes to guys I dont know how to react. However, today I did realize that maybe I do set my standards for my "guy-friend" a little too high which makes it hard for me to get closer to the ones thatll probably be good for me.. But currently, I feel that letting go of Dude was a good idea, it will take some time but I will get over it.. Some boys are stupid because they lead on innocent girls but girls are slightly idiotic for falling for the guy that seems to be right for her. Well, enough about Stupid Boys & Idiotic Lambs..



CCGC Evals is today =) Ahh I can't wait, I'm holding a lot of weight on my shoulders but I have faith that my Guard will DO IT UP & PULL THROUGH to make Mitch and Raquel proud. =) =) =)

Mood: excited & growing, Opening my eyes o something bigger & better =)

until then,
capJAC

Yay & Nay

Yay!!! I got my license finally.. but Nay =/ the stupid ( well to me ) thing is that my dad still chooses to treat me like i still have my permit. & ever since Ive gotten my license he's been even more strict with mey driving, it's driving me insane and making me even more paranoid!!! I haven't even drove without him coming with me. WHAT THE HECK is all that about.. But i guess its okay because I am his first kid to start driving but that still doesnt excuse the fact that he tries to change the subject everytime I talk to him about getting me a car or about driving myself to school or even about teaching me how to drive stick on the car we already have.. Sometimes i think my dad wants me to live in a box and never leave it. Seriously. He treats me like I can't walk on my own two feet sometimes erh I can't stand it & I can't escape the idea that my dad treats my brother like he's some type of trophy! But I guess I just gotta suck it up and just be thankful that my dad is there for me. But eventually he had to loosen up right? I mean he can't be smothering me with parental guidance FOREVER ( I hope not ) I have no idea though about how I can get my dad to trust me. I already try my best to live up to his expectations with good grades, NO boys ( that he knows of ) , church & blah blah blah so there shouldnt be a reason why he shouldn't TRUST me. GAH my simply excuse ( for now ) is because I AM A GIRL

I guess Ive got to go...
Until NEXT TIME
-capJAC




PS REST IN PEACE LOLA ROSALINA 'SALING' ISRAEL
You are loved & greatly missed...

New Year

I finally made one just cause everyone else did....

So, im kinna late...
But, this year my new year's resolution is to simply: be true to myself. Just to be good to myself.. but this year is all for new beginnings i wanna and needa start over.. geebus This year better be a hella fun year there's no holding back lol =)
well this blogging thing is really new to me but Ive always wanted to but just been hella lazy to =/ so ima start this year.. & my day started off really really slow i woke up to 96.5 KOIT .
oh & Yesterday, i took family pictures (mom's idea) and they actually turned out to be nice and the 'outting' with the family was actually kinna fun aha ..
well im off to nothingness .. MAYBE ill go read my BR book for hill =/ pfft but most likely NOT!

be back lata alligata